Some may have seen this post back in August 2013, some may never have seen it but I would ask you all to read it again. In 2013 me, my brothers, sister and niece took part in a 10k Memory Walk and with your generousity we raised £1000 for Alzheimer's Society!
We're getting together to do it again this year and I would like to ask for your help again to raise money for this important cause. Please read on to find out why we're doing it:
My dad always told me never to beg, never beg for money but, more
importantly, never beg for friendship or love. He was a great man.
Let me introduce you to John Thomas Harris, known to my mum as H and his friends as Harris, my handsome dad:
He
was a quiet man who loved his family more than anything. His work was
physical, he was a scaffolder who then went on to build film sets, he
was very creative and artistic. He had an incredible sense of humour.
He once had to give a speech at a function for his boss, he was so
nervous but got through it by
using his humour, the comedian Jimmy Jones got on stage after my dad and
said "How the hell do I follow that!".
My
dad was intelligent and had a very quick mind. I wouldn't go in the
sea once because I'd heard a report of giant jellyfish in the water.
Without missing a beat my dad said "No, what you saw was an advert for
Rowntrees that said nobody's jellies are bigger than our jellies" I
believed him and went swimming, he'd reassured me. He would get excited
about things, Christmas and a surprise for someone in the family would
always get him excited, I get that from him.
He
loved to do a BBQ and was an amazing cook. There was the time in
France when we didn't have a BBQ so he "borrowed" one from the chief of
police for France, in the end he made one from an old shopping trolley
but that's another story for another time. He made the most amazing
pastry and his apple pies were always special. When he cooked he liked
to prepare and have all of the ingredients chopped and grated and in
their own little bowls :)
Dad was very sporting, he played football for the county when he was younger,
Monday night was always squash night and he loved to swim. I recall my
dad going for long sea swims when we were on holiday, I also remember
with pride how over the years he saved the lives of 7 people who were in
trouble at sea, one of them a lifeguard!
Then
Alzheimer's struck, my dad was 57, just 57 years old! I remember many
times during his illness that I wished someone could save him. As a
family, united, we went on a 12 year journey with this terrible disease.
At the start of his illness Maddie had the best of grandads. Maddie
isn't the name on her birth certificate, it's the name he gave her.
From the moment she was born he always called her his little madam and
in time it evolved to Maddie and it stuck.
He
was always there for her, ready to play any silly game that she made
up and it was great to see them playing, wonderful that he had the time
to play with her. But that was selfish because the only reason he had
the time was because his brain cells were dying. His other
grandchildren weren't so lucky, some of them never knew him but he lives
on in our hearts like the legend he was and all of his grandchildren
hear the stories of grandad John.
It all started off with coffee, there were a couple of times early in
the morning when he poured boiling water in to the coffee jar instead of
his cup. At the time it was annoying and we thought he was just tired
but then other changes came along, subtle changes, and the doctors diagnosed Alzheimer's.
Unlike cancer, when you are told you have Alzheimer's there are no
options, there is no hope. They can give you drugs that will slow it
down but they only turn you into a zombie with very little normal
function. My mum soon stopped giving him the drugs that took away any quality of life.
Alzheimer's has stages, it is like watching someones life in reverse.
My dad had been in Germany for his National Service and spoke the
language fluently. I remember the day my mum called me to let me know
that, after not saying a word for 6 months, my dad was talking again, the
only trouble was he was talking German!
Alzheimer's
sufferers go through a stage were they can walk for miles and miles.
Police have suggested that sufferers are fitted with GPS. This caused a
bit of uproar amongst the do gooders but until you get the heart
stopping call that says "Dad's manged to get out of the front door and I
can't find him" then you don't realise what a fantastic idea this is.
It is like a toddler getting out of the house with no sense of direction
and no idea of the dangers of crossing a road.
Alzheimer's
made the whole family even closer, we were all there to help my mum so
that my dad didn't have to go in a home. It also isolated us and we
would grieve and shed our tears in private. We also learnt a lot of
lessons.
People with Alzheimer's aren't old and they
don't just sit in a corner forgetting the small things, they forget
everything. They forget how to hold a glass, how to feed themselves,
they have to wear a nappy, they forget how to use their arms, they
forget how to sit down and when you do get them sitting down they forget
how to stand up, their muscles cease up and they forget how to walk.
But
then it gets worse, they forget how to chew then they forget how to
swallow, you can't get them to eat, they can't eat, they waste away.
They don't forget how to cry though and it breaks your heart.
Close friends turn their backs and disappear from your lives, people who
had been friends with my dad for over 40 years just stopped coming to
see him.
We learnt how strong my mum is, how much fight she has in her, how much she loved my dad.
Dad
saw all but one of us married, walked his 3 daughters down the aisle
and stood at the side of one of his sons. Twelve years after we were
introduced to Alzheimer's and five short years after this beautiful
photo was taken of my dad looking so proud and happy at Jemma's wedding
this photo was taken:
Five
years for him to look like he'd aged 20, for him to stop walking, for
him to stop moving his arms, for the life to have gone from his eyes and
then to finally pass away.
I still see reminders of my
dad all the time and they always make me think of him and smile. I
know that he is always with me. I see him in my brothers and in my
nephews but I wish he was here to see it too. His many grandchildren
would amaze him and he would cherish them all.
On
the 13th of September me, my brothers and my sisters are doing a 10K
Memory Walk to raise money for Alzheimer's. We want to raise money so
that, in the future, if someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer's they are
offered a cure, a chance to live their life out in full, so that they
can be offered hope.
I
would walk this 10K bare foot over hot coals if it meant that my dad
would be at the finish line and I could see him healthy and well but I
know that won't happen so I'll wear my shoes and socks and do it in the
hope a cure can be found.
Now I know dad told me not to beg but, just this once, please, if you can, visit my
Just Giving
page and make a donation. It doesn't matter how big or small, whatever
is raised will help another family that is suffering because of this
terrible disease.
Today
would have been my dad's birthday, it's the seventh one he's not been
with us but he is not for one second forgotten. If you feel like giving a
posthumous birthday present then maybe you would be kind enough to
share this blog post with your lovely followers.
I will keep you updated on my fundraising and would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this post.
Happy birthday dad, love and miss you always.
Take care
Jo xx
